Contemplative

This is a little bit more of a personal post today, but I think it might be nice to share some of my thoughts I tend to keep to myself. Who knows, maybe I'll get some words of advice, re-assurance, or just general love :)

As I sit here at work, I feel like I'm ready for something...new. Not just at work, but in life. I'm ready for the next big step. What is that next big step? Your guess is as good as mine.

I've been pretty bored with my job for a while, and it's not in an area I want to make a career out of, so I've been ready for something new in that arena for a few months now. But, I'm trying to hold out for another year until Nik's done with his post-doc and we'll be moving onward again. I guess I'm ready for that next big life-changing move.

But I'm also very happy with our life here in Cincinnati - I really love our neighborhood, garden, the friends we've made, being close to Nik's family, and, well, Cincinnati. Sometimes, it just doesn't seem to be enough. I really want to buy a house, make a home our own, but that just doesn't make sense while we're in Cincinnati.

I'm also a little jealous (but very thrilled for) of family and friends who are able to pursue a dream/life's ambition that seems very rewarding and fulfilling. I guess I long for that, but feel like my student loan debt holds me back. And what is my dream/life's ambition? What job out there would make me feel happy, rewarded, fulfilled? I'm not quite sure.

In any case, as I write this, I'm starting to feel a little more positive. I'm realizing that I'm just really excited for what life has to offer and the many big life moments (getting married, buying my first home, starting a family) that I feel like are in the near future (and by that, I mean over the next 10 years or so).

Patience, it's a good thing. I just need to keep telling myself that!